RuPaul's Drag Race: Sashay Away

Week 04 of RuPaul's Drag Race and it's getting to the point where I should have an idea of a winner, but really, REALLY I don't.

I have NO IDEA who is going to win, or who I really think deserves to win either, and that SCARES me because this week's eviction was a shock until I re-watched.

There was no mini challenge this week. We went straight to the girls writing a parody of a RuPaul track and filming a video. The results were pretty good!

Trixie Mattel, Miss Fame, Pearl and Katya doing "I Wanna Tan"

Max, Jaiydeynnne and Violet parodying "Get Ready To Clock"

Mrs. Kasha Davis, Ginger Minj, Kennedy Davenport and Kandy Ho perform "I Got Paid"

To be honest, I thought that Jaidynn SLAYED as Bianca Del Rio, but Kennedy took the winner's slot this week. I wasn't too keen on her performance, Something was off for me and I felt a slight tinge of Asian parody? Not cool.

Ru seemed to have been boosted a cup size this week, with her pastel rabbit ears evoking the Easter vibe.

The runway however, was a favourite of mine so far, the theme was Green. Michelle looked classy as fuck in her mint lace:

 Channelling vintage glamour in her lace

Jessica Alba was one of the guest judges. In my opinion, she can do no wrong:

How adorable is she? She was so happy to be there all episode!

And GOD DAMN I loved the runway this week! Highlights: 

DAT ASS DON'T QUIT, PEARL

.gifs courtesy of fuckyeahdragrace

Trixie. I didn't feel this dress was actually green though, it seemed more blue?

Miss Fame. SORT THAT TAPE OUT GURL

Katya working some serious Jolie Split

 

Kasha rocking the GREEN

And all of the teams together in their Gorgeous Green Getups:

Pearl, Miss Fame, Trixie, Katya

Max, Jaidynn, Violet

Kandy, Kasha, Kennedy and Ginger

At the end of the episode, Pearl and Trixie were left to duke it out. At first I was surprised that they were the two in the bottom, but the more I thought about it, the less it hurt. Trixie hasn't shone in any challenge or runway since the beginning. She had parts in their video where she could have hammed it up and gagged or pulled a better face but she's been kind of 'blah' in her character whereas I've loved every single video interview with Brian Firkus,

He was real, not too shady and humble. I'm sad he's gone but the competition this year is REALLY TIGHT and I have NO FREAKNG IDEA what's happening next!!

So, based around the Cheongsam and her eye flicks, here's my Trixie RuPaulish, see you next week!

RuPaul's Drag Race: You Better Work

WORK is one thing that pretty much NONE of the queens did this week!

First thing that happened this week was that Jasmine Fucking Masters called someone a Horse-Face.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Next they all had to dress up like old ladies and walk a mini runway. Perfection was seen in Mrs. Kasha Davis:

Juggling with her saggy ole tits

Pearl's painted on cleavage only gets better with age

Trixie Mattel, Comedy queen gets the laughs, again!

Katya. The high hairline was perfect!

I will NOT talk about the Shakespeare section. It was HANDS DOWN the worst thing they've ever done on RPDR, but we will skip straight to the Runway.

Ru SLAYED in neon and black

AND WHAT

Goddamn that hair, those gauntlets, I need it.

Irrelevant celebrity since 2000 Melanie B was there. With earrings that looked like Nappy Pins:

Bad hair, bad earrings, bad attitude.

So onto the Runway! This week the Queens were made to wear bears on the runway. This was nearly as bad as the naked runway and that's saying something.

Max: Long-legged and luscious

Trixie: My favourite this runway - so Jesus

Mrs. Kasha Davis - the shoulder line of the dress makes her shoulders look dead manly which is a shame, I adored her beard

Miss Fame - loving the matchy-matchy!

Jasmine Masters. I think it spoke volumes that you wore your nicest dress, had already packed and didn't even talk shit during the Untucked Lounge.

I did, however, love her dress, so I was glad to do this week's RuPaulish based on the amazing Sequins Gown:

Gosh Holographic Hero trimmed with chevrons, grey holo fade, Essie Belugaria french, BM-410 stampy and glitter fades.

There isn't truly anyone left I dislike as much as I did Jasmine, so I'm looking forward to next week!

RuPaul's Drag Race: The Time Has Come for You to Lip-Sync for Your Life

Time for this week's RuPaulish.

This week, Ru had the ladies give face while they were blown by the Pit Crew. With Moby.

Oh Bryce. Oh, oh oh.

Noooo, not like that - they were blown with a leaf-blower while they gave face to the camera. The results were HILARIOUS!!

Jasmine did gooood with only 15 minutes to get ready. love the hair

Pearl = perfection

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, Katya?

Those teeth! Miss Fame has humour!

Trixie OWNED this one

10/10 to Moby for being a good sport!

Then they chose teams for the Maxi Challenge: A lipsynch and some choreography for Glamazonian Airways! You should absolutely watch the episode for the drama and failure, but LOOK AT THESE OUTFITS:

High waisted pink and black? SIGN ME UP!

RuPaul was also back on form this week, with a distressed metallic purple wiggle dress that matched the neck scarves of the ladies:

Again, I won't go into the ins-and-outs of the entire episode, but I wanted to show you my favourite and least-favourite outfits from the runway:

Trixie: Yes.

Pearl: Those painted on tits are amazing

Miss Fame: Brown = nope. Nope nope nope.

Sasha Belle: Dry-ass wig. So basic.

Jasmine: Why is this travel? Neeeext

Ginger Minj: What a letdown gurl!

I kinda sum these outfits up with this Michelle .gif:

What WERE Those Queens even thinking? A shower of terrible travel.

Personally I think my winner this week would have been Mrs. Kasha Davis - although Ginger did AMAZING on the challenge, her runway outfit was SUCH a huge miss.

And on to my nails - I've gone with the Amazonian Airways theme, with an accent of Strappy shoes like Sasha was wearing. Bye Sasha, I'm sad you're gone but there were 12 Queens better than you this week.

I can't wait for next week!

RuPaul's Drag Race: Good Luck And Don't Fuck It Up!

So last week, the first episode of RuPaul's Drag Race aired, and someone was sent home. Here Be Spoilers, so if you don't want to know, look away now!

14 Queens sashayed into the arena, without the usual photography challenge at the beginning. I kinda missed it to be honest, but hey, I'm no-one to stand in the way of progress. There was a minor amount of shade thrown, with the biggest F U being from Miss Fame to Max. Totally harsh, she tore her newspaper. If anyone tore something that I'd spent so long making I would have kicked the fuck off, so kudos to Max for not laying the smack down.

My favourite entrance was Kennedy Davenport. It pains me to say so, because for the rest of the episode she's quite 'meh' and a bit of a bitch with no receipts, however just look at these Curves and Swerves:

I love a good Mohawk!

The 'mini' challenge wasn't quite so mini. They were to create two runway looks each, Spring and Fall. There wasn't much backstage drama or action, they just got on with the runway.

My favourite spring look was Ginger Minj - to be honest, the Spring looks were not my taste at all - Honestly, the clue is in the "Goth" part - but I just can't resist a pink sequins dress:

Ginger - But doesn't Red clash with Pink?

My favourite look from the Fall runway was Pearl:

Pearl - Be still my beating heart

With layers and leather, you just can't go wrong!

I would absolutely rock this look myself!

The main challenge is about to start, and the newest member of the Pit Crew comes in, NAKED.

I can barely hold my excitement with ginger males anyway and you do THIS?

*Heavy Breathing*

*Breathing Intensifies*

But enough, time for the main event: the runway!

Ru's outfit massively missed the mark for me, the hair and makeup on point, however there were two points noticeably missing from the front of her outfit and I wasn't fully buying the illusion!

Ru darling, where are your nipples?!

Well, all the girls came out in various states of nude illusion and actual nude and I shan't spoil these for you, however one girl had to go home and tonight it was Tempest DuJour who had to Sashay Away after a Lip Sync For Her Life with Kandy Ho'.

Incidentally, I fully believe it should have been Sasha Belle and Jasmine Masters in the bottom two. 

Motherfucker, say "Cocoon" one more Goddamn time!

Poolside Realness

Serving Crabs

“We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.” 

― William Shakespeare, The Tempest

I was really disappointed to see Tempest DuJour leave - I thought she was adorable and dealt with the shade from Kandy with class. So, she was the inspiration for my nails this week!

Gold fade, Gold Chain, Gold Flakies, Gold Crab, Gold Leopard.

You'll be missed, Tempest!